Why I’m Not Really on Social Media Anymore

(and How Email Feels Like Home)

Hi friends, I love the internet. Ever since I was a teen, I’d love getting online and discovering websites, chatting with friends, and playing games. It used to be a pretty small group of people—and then everyone got a smartphone, and then they got on social media and everything exploded. And not necessarily for the better.

I used to love social media. Back in the early days of social media, it was pretty magical, and super similar to scrapbooking—a big messy place where we could all share what we were making, trade ideas, and actually talk about it. There were niche hashtags, creative challenges, and little pockets of the internet that were like real community.

I literally went on the first airplane trip of my life to meet up with my scrapbook message board friends in Wisconsin when I was 21 years old.

But over the last decade, the internet has changed a lot. Everything became an app, then apps changed. And slowly, I realized that the places I once felt most connected had become…a place I didn’t love spending my time anymore.

Here’s what we’ll cover in this email:

• Why I stepped back from social media

• How email became my favorite creative home

• What I’ve learned about real connection in quieter spaces

When the Feeds Stopped Feeling Like Home

There wasn’t one big moment that made me quit. It was more like a slow fade.
First, Facebook stopped doing anything for me, even groups—which at the beginning felt niche and intimate—were being taken over by companies, bots, and people just trying to make a quick buck. Then Instagram started feeling like a chore—all ads, tons of clickbait, and if I wanted to see my friends, I literally needed to go into the search function and look them up. And on the other end, my photos were reaching fewer people unless I paid for visibility, and the “explore” page was nothing but brand accounts and viral (usually insanely stupid) trends.

At some point I realized I was spending more time thinking about how to share than what I actually wanted to share. That was a wake-up call.

Social media stopped being about humans. It became corporate, pay-to-play, and completely unpredictable. The platforms kept changing the rules while pretending they were helping us “connect.” Meanwhile, we were all optimizing our captions down to the word and creating hashtag spreadsheets just to keep up.

That’s when I decided: I’m done performing¹.

What I Don’t Miss

Here’s what I don’t miss about social media life:

• The constant pressure to show up picture-perfect every day.

• Random strangers sliding into DMs for weird reasons.

• The quick dopamine hits that vanish as soon as you close the app.

• The endless ads and “you might like this” suggestions for things I definitely do not like.

• Watching people I care about disappear from my feed because some algorithm decided they didn’t count as “engaging.”

I miss the old things—the chronological feeds, the creative challenges, the niche communities that actually talked to each other. But what I really miss is the conversation. And that’s the part I’ve been rebuilding here, through email.

Finding My Creative Rhythm in Email

Email feels like the old internet: simple, direct, and just downright human. It’s a space that doesn’t demand you to perform. It just invites you to connect.

Writing newsletters feels like having a quick lunch with a friend. I can share a thought, a photo, a bit of art, or a longer reflection—without worrying about how it fits what’s popular on the app right now. I can mix text, images, audio, or even video, all in one place. And because it’s asynchronous, it respects both of our rhythms: I write when I can; you read when you can.

That’s one of my favorite things about this format. You don’t have to be online at the same time as me. You don’t need a perfect Wi-Fi connection or a brand-new phone. Everyone has email. It’s the most accessible digital space we’ve ever had—feminist, practical, and just easy.

When I see that hundreds (sometimes thousands) of you opened an email, I know you’re real people, not bots or bought followers. And when someone replies, it’s because they want to talk to me, not because they want their comment seen in a feed. That makes such a huge difference in everything that I’m doing—both online and off.

Sharing vs. Performing

There’s a big difference between sharing and performing your story.

Performing means showing up on a stage you don’t control, under someone else’s spotlight, with rules that keep changing. Sharing, on the other hand, means you decide what to say, when to say it, and who it’s for.

That’s what email gives me: control, intention, and permission to show up honestly. It’s quieter, smaller, and way more real.

I’m not trying to go viral anymore. I’m trying to connect.

Building Community Outside the Algorithm

Community doesn’t need likes or views to prove it exists. These days, I measure connection in different ways:

• Are people replying to my emails?

• Are they talking about creativity with me in their own words?

• Are they inspired to make something—a page, a photo, a note—because of what they read here?

That’s what matters. That’s what lasts.

I want to help build an internet space where people can show up on their own terms—create in their own homes, on their own time, and share (or not share) however they want. Where our stories don’t get buried under what’s trending.

That’s what I want this newsletter to be, and that’s why I continue to write day in and day out.

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If you want a daily peek behind my creative curtain—a short note, a photo, and a few thoughts about showing up creatively—come join my Daily Pages section here on Substack. It’s the closest thing to the early-blog era: real stories, real art, real people.

Here’s what we covered today:

• Social media doesn’t feel like home when the focus shifts from people to performance.

• Email gives us room to slow down, create on our own terms, and connect more deeply.

• Real community happens in smaller, quieter spaces — where we choose to show up.

Action step: Take a moment this week to think about what digital spaces feel good to you right now. Where do you feel seen, not just watched? What kind of connection do you want to nurture next — and what small step could help you get there?

Hit reply say hi! I love hearing from you guys, even if it’s just a quick check-in!

Talk to you next week!

xoxo,

Kristin

P.S. If you’re enjoying these newsletters, please consider sharing this edition with a friend who might need a little creative boost today.

1. Judith Butler would have a lot to say about this.